Marriage vs Mela

The colonial rule in India had supported their expenditure on building summer capitals in Shimla and depriving the needy sections of society by projecting that Indians have a lot of money already in spending on pompous marriages and festivals.
Today, the same colonialism is felt when society,  family and the participants of the marriage themselves press their parents to spend as much as possible on their marriages.
I met a lady in Bengaluru,  who on the day of her daughter’s marriage was inviting closed ones for GRIHA PRAVESH,  I congratulated her but inquisitively asked whether the house she is shifting from is nomore accommodative..  She answered that she had sold her property for her daughters marriage and instead took up a one room kitchen to stay with her husband and invested all that they had to get her daughter married in the most lavish manner possible. I was not surprised. This is familiarity now.
When we as children used to go to large wedding celebrations and used to be served by caterers and were able to be seated as guests and did not have to look for seat around with food plate worth Rs. 1000/- and not have a chair to sit in the fair like marriage   the status symbol would be the size of the fish and the number of dishes on the menu.  The scenario has changed now ; The status symbol now,  is how large the Mela is- When the guests enter – they start with pani puri and leave with gold plated or at the least silver coins.
The expenditures are increasing,  so is the criticism immediately after the guests leave the venue ,  when they feel there is something missing in the fulfilment of their expectations as guests   Maybe they were expecting a stall for dart game,  or monopoly that didn’t exist or maybe the cuisine needed some more than just Thai, Japanese,  or Italian.
There is no harm in spending on happy occasions but the pressure exerted on those who find it difficult to afford is a worry,  it is though natural for every member to feel under privileged unless they are able to keep pace with trends.  (Say for example,  not having a mobile phone today is not just out of trend but inconvenience too, we tend to ask members from every strata if they possess a cell phone to ensure easy communication) Likewise not spending on marriages sound not just out of trend but implants suspicion on the minds of family and fellows as to what the reason behind not celebrating the marriage could be? (The simple answer to the suspicious mind is : MARRIAGE by definition of Vedic era terms is a conjunction between two individuals, it’s a choice of living together and the social sanction for their biological needs may be approved anyways, without having to spend)
I askef the other day to a not so well to do lady around as to what her biggest concern is –  She replied,  she had to save to spend on her daughter ‘s marriage and needed out of proportion sum.  I advised why doesn’t she keep it simple,  she replied, her daughter demanded she must not be sent like a pauper from her house to her in laws and that would also make sure that she got sufficient amount of respect when she entered her new home.  The reason cited was disturbing,  as if her daughter didn’t realise,  how much her parents was capable of.  She insisted on LED tv set, and a second hand vehicle for her and her husband,  which was very apparently a huge burden for her parents.  When I spoke about the same thing to one of my neighbor and in the casual talk,  I mentioned why don’t people instead donate blood,  feed poor and needy,  or take care of sick and old to mark the beginning of  a new journey with divine tasks,  my neighbor replied the good things are done as show off,  I without being vocal about my thought further wondered,  isn’t spending  on marriages,  purchasing  a saree,  lehenga,  or expensive dresses and jewelry that are too heavy to be worn again,  show off too…??
Pompous marriages or for that reason celebration of any festival with too much of extravaganza is taking a toll on the savings of those parents who shall need it in their old age once their children leave,  similarly,  maintaining a  reputation by virtue of marriages that are expensive may not be a good idea. (recently read about the split of one of India’s top ten richest man’s daughter after having spent abundant money for the wedding).
The money,  time,  effort can rather be saved for a future that is progressive,  modern and contributing to the society.  Youngsters need to take efforts today in refusing to spend anything unwarranted on their wedding and utilise the resources in getting a good,  secured, life for their parents who are aging and the society that needs them and their continued contribution for better and rational reasons..  I have attached a simple example of a progressive contribution by a wedding group for your glance…
Please share the thoughts to friends and family for a better society.  Your comments, criticism and appreciation is essential.
Thanking you for reading  through..  Anubrata (Yugadhikari)



Health.  To me the answer would be Health.  Your answers may be different and please share in your answers with me and the readers of this column down below in the comments section.  However,  most of us have begun assuming this enormous wealth to be pertinent and that we can be wasteful about  it without even worrying what is in store,  for the extravaganza.
Well,  this topic may sound utopian,  many many scholars,  doctors,  dieticians,  parents, elders have given us theories on maintenance of health,  but most of us do not bother about the sermons and nevertheless,  forget it over a period of time and why not forget,  as the preachers are seen themselves practicing none of the doctrines they would have imparted,  I am sure all of us would have seen doctors,  dieticians,  parents getting into some unhealthy habit which very apparently will be of ill- effect in the course of time.  Therefore we do not take any of the sermons seriously.
That doesn’t resolve though,  if we parrot all that we see or  practice in herd it will have an effect that for obvious reasons are not healthy.  Thus, we need a refresher  course now- of the chapter –  Health is wealth from our primary standard,  moral science text book.  That is the whole purpose of today’s word.
A hilarious example of defiance of our own conscious is the passive voice within ua that cites enormous justifications  everyday to not wake up or tie up the jogging shoes every morning just because maybe it is rainy ,  or cold,  or hot,  had a cough last night ,  a bad dream that caused a delayed rise up in the morning or maybe we have an important meeting that needs the best of the looks for the day and thus another hour of beauty sleep and so on and so forth. We are not the only ones,  how many of us actually see the same face every morning,  when out for walk,  except for the same canines in our lane,  who by now know you by fragrance and looks,  the sapiens change every morning.
We have been voted as the Diabetic capital of the world,  one in every 3 people are diabetic and the not so privileged strata of society have members in their family who aren’t even aware that they are carrying an ailment so beastly unless they succumb to it.  The burning question today (in the words of the most talked about today, Mr. GOSWAMI)  THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW  who should be blamed for it?  The people who are careless,  The tempting Street and Fast Food corners, available money to buy it randomly,  the (Usain bolt)  speedy life style or our ignorance about our own body?
This is a complacent question again left as food for thought now (our brain needs food too,  it’s not just the body!!!).

Let us now move on to the mechanics who pledge to repair the bugs once caught – our doctors and medical experts. Are they handling the issues well? Are they honestly,  sincerely following their pledge?  Burning question again.  This reminds of a recent traumatising  incident that I went through in a reputed hospital in a city like Pune,  where I was almost on the brink of being dragged to the operation theatre for an eye surgery by the ophthalmologist for a chalazion that hit my right eye.  His pursuance and some home work on the Internet boosted my confidence to seek second opinion that very obviously refuted any necessity for a surgery,  that which shall automatically heal.  The ethics,  the belief,  and my entire faith on the nobility of the profession was moved. I now began to be super sure that you need at least two opinions for any simple issue, before it is turned to become a gigantic matter by virtue of blind faith on the master of your health for that point of time . Now that needs twice the fees,  that needs more work,  more work = more neglect for health.  Therefore we are almost caught.  CAUGHT in the Web of doing a lot extra for a bit gain.  The only way out of this possibly could be PREVENTION,  AS WE SAY PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE,   If youngsters take care of their health,  early in their lives the demand for doctors shall reduce and thus the supply over a period of time and thus this curve of demand vs supply shall eventually help our doctors face less competition and perhapsthe ethical portion shall also be restored.
Tomorrow is our Great thinker Swami Vivekananda’s Birth anniversary,  our best Celebration of his philosophy would possibly be the fact that, the Youth is responsible for the nation and it’s progress and in his words again,  HEALTH SHALL REMAIN THE GREATEST WEALTH.
Thank You for reading through.. Anubrata (Yugadhikari)


We have entered a race without intent.

With evolution from Australopithecus to the modern geek world today ( where all of us are almost tech-savy) we have come a long way.  It is not surprising as when we delve deep into our specian brain,  we realise who and why would the first sapien think of striking two stones at all? (which as we all know created fire) thus the inter stellar reach for humans and bringing the world into hands vide technology is no herculean task for human brain.  We are all enjoying progress,  comfort,  knowledge and skillful up gradation of our lives,  however we don’t wish to admit that we are losing time with fellow mates,  family,  children and nature for it. 
We simply like to roll the ball into the court of our kin and find suitable occasions to tell each other that you have remotely failed in being what as a social being you are supposed to be..
To cite an example,  I was having a coffee with a recent partner of a decade long relationship that ended into a shredder.  He mentioned that he felt that his lady love was inclined to a man who was working with her as he was capable of sparing more time with her than the other guy who was busy in his schedule..  Without going into further details I asked if he wished to give it another chance..  He mentioned he wouldn’t even want to think of it..  Surprisingly the guy who refused to accept the intricacy of a heart break did not realise that the very  reason he was adamant on not thinking of her but was sub consciously looking for reasons to talk of how betrayed he felt when his lady love walked out was because he was hung. He was hung by masculine hard-line emotions,  and was yet wandering into how and why things ended between them. I was eternally thinking that moment,  who in this situation was to blame?  Was it the woman who was feeling neglected under the realm of work pressure that strained their relationship,  was it the guy who entered into their relationship just at the right  place and when there was rift available or was it the guy who felt that a good career is equally important as is his love but didn’t realise that this could turn things undermining his emotions to this extent that he would be left empty..

While I walked home and pondered on it,  I drew that none, NONE WAS TO BLAME,  let us think over it  again,  while you could leave your comments below to agree or disagree but the participants in the scenario mentioned above didn’t have time.  They were running out of scope to meet regularly or spend time which is essential in any relationship as with the number of people we meet in our lives it is not difficult to have people out of sight out of mind in no time.  They therefore preferred,  to be with collaboratives at the same work place to save time on being together.  As if all emotions are no emotions anymore but have become documented doctrines essentially to be followed as members of the society.

The above scenario may sound clear-eyed as major love and break up scenario but it is not true.
Let me take the liberty of writing a little more on this and mention about mother – child relationship as I see around today. I may sound hysterical being a woman myself to say that working mothers may not be remedial in the over all  growth of their respective children.  Perhaps this was the reason that in Vedic era women were expected to stay at home and take care of their homes instead of doing laboured jobs.  On the contrary when we had thinkers like gargi and debaters like ahilya,  perhaps because they did not have to take the ownership of a second life with them. A marriage may be a man made institution and doesn’t necessarily restrict you to think ahead but a progeny may sound more than just an institution,  as it is a creation,  a life,  brought by the woman herself and the man she is associated with,  whilst the man may not be that associated biologically as a carrier as the mother.  Therefore she is now not one but two not in romanticism like we say the conjunct between a man and woman we say but she truly is not one but two now,  the essence of this being two is now getting diluted. With the increasing pace of rat race for material and money.
Again,  to cite an example,  I have beauty clinic close to my residence whose lady owner has a 5/6 year old daughter,  surprisingly the lady owner is extremely busy in her schedule and has expanded her business to the extent that she has branches around the city for her business,  but her flower like daughter is losing her petals at an alarming rate.  The child is left with the workers in the clinic and is constant fiddler on a mobile phone that she plays with.  There is no space for a playground around and even if there are children around there is no take there as all the children are doing everything possible but playing.  (including martial arts at their least possible interest).  The child therefore wanders all around and sometimes get the attention of the visitors to the clinic who ask her random cuddling questions like what is your name. Which class,  who is your best friend and so on..  She gets annoyed too,  but apparent from her behavior is the fact that her mommy must have given her strict instructions to not misbehave with any visitor as that is getting her newer toys (read mobile phones) so she plainly smiles and answers all questions in the most unwanted and hormonally unfeeling manner.
To sum up,  again I wonder who is wrong,  the mother who has to earn,  and I am sure her intent to earn would be the well being of her child too,  the visitors who is visiting her clinic despite seeing the neglect of the child but encouragingly helping the mother to go ahead in her ambitions or us as society where we are running,  running and  running,  why, where to and until when we don’t know.  Has the race any end,  should the race have an end at all is left to be answered by all of us.
I will be happy to discuss more on this from your comments below.
Please share the post and discuss in detail for more inputs from all around.
Thanks for reading through.  Anubrata.

Society vs Unsociety

I don’t know how many of us would agree that,  we as human beings are trending in a virtual era. We don’t meet people upfront,  we text,  call or let them know before we pay a visit which was not the case when communication was not this easy.

The purpose of this blog is basically to talk about the changes that we see around,  how well we have adopted and how much are we compelled to adopt,  to continue to be a player in a game that we don’t know the rules about .

While I have grown up in my beloved country India with its special cuisines of Cricket,  Bollywood,  Slow but creeping global participation,  I have not met one individual who has been thoroughly happy,  proud,  or full of praise with the ongoing workshops around. As a child I wondered why did everyone complain of the actions of the politicians but never took any step to improve the situation  themselves or talk about the affairs that our celebrities had,  when they really had no possible links with them..  With growth I realised it is because people simply wanted to talk,  and they sought topics, reasons and interesting discussions and criticism is the most delicious thing to chew when you have nothing else served unto you.

Well,  that was still better when  we had people atleast talking human to human,  but now everyone is talking to their phones or computers.  So am I,  while I have so much to say I have no active listeners, I may have readers now on though.  However,  I am not sure yet how many are absorbed into reading it further.

Therefore without much ado,  let me try to strike a conversation with my readers here on what are the possible changes that they have observed around them and they have adopted too.  However they are half heartedly involved,  they wish they could undo the changes but they know the changes are way too large to now bring an end to.

My readers may be looking for an example,  therefore say,  when until 2000s we had PAkora, cutlet,  bhel as major snacks,  we have eventually shifted our appetite to pizzas,  burgers and pasta that give rest to our mothers and sisters or the best cooks at home for that reason and have shifted our delightful evening  Conversations to tele soaps.  We are enjoying it,  no doubts but we somewhere miss those days too..

Let us think more of such interesting things to talk about.  Until then I would like to put this blog to your test..

Thank you for reading through… Anubrata