Marriage vs Mela

The colonial rule in India had supported their expenditure on building summer capitals in Shimla and depriving the needy sections of society by projecting that Indians have a lot of money already in spending on pompous marriages and festivals.
Today, the same colonialism is felt when society,  family and the participants of the marriage themselves press their parents to spend as much as possible on their marriages.
I met a lady in Bengaluru,  who on the day of her daughter’s marriage was inviting closed ones for GRIHA PRAVESH,  I congratulated her but inquisitively asked whether the house she is shifting from is nomore accommodative..  She answered that she had sold her property for her daughters marriage and instead took up a one room kitchen to stay with her husband and invested all that they had to get her daughter married in the most lavish manner possible. I was not surprised. This is familiarity now.
When we as children used to go to large wedding celebrations and used to be served by caterers and were able to be seated as guests and did not have to look for seat around with food plate worth Rs. 1000/- and not have a chair to sit in the fair like marriage   the status symbol would be the size of the fish and the number of dishes on the menu.  The scenario has changed now ; The status symbol now,  is how large the Mela is- When the guests enter – they start with pani puri and leave with gold plated or at the least silver coins.
The expenditures are increasing,  so is the criticism immediately after the guests leave the venue ,  when they feel there is something missing in the fulfilment of their expectations as guests   Maybe they were expecting a stall for dart game,  or monopoly that didn’t exist or maybe the cuisine needed some more than just Thai, Japanese,  or Italian.
There is no harm in spending on happy occasions but the pressure exerted on those who find it difficult to afford is a worry,  it is though natural for every member to feel under privileged unless they are able to keep pace with trends.  (Say for example,  not having a mobile phone today is not just out of trend but inconvenience too, we tend to ask members from every strata if they possess a cell phone to ensure easy communication) Likewise not spending on marriages sound not just out of trend but implants suspicion on the minds of family and fellows as to what the reason behind not celebrating the marriage could be? (The simple answer to the suspicious mind is : MARRIAGE by definition of Vedic era terms is a conjunction between two individuals, it’s a choice of living together and the social sanction for their biological needs may be approved anyways, without having to spend)
I askef the other day to a not so well to do lady around as to what her biggest concern is –  She replied,  she had to save to spend on her daughter ‘s marriage and needed out of proportion sum.  I advised why doesn’t she keep it simple,  she replied, her daughter demanded she must not be sent like a pauper from her house to her in laws and that would also make sure that she got sufficient amount of respect when she entered her new home.  The reason cited was disturbing,  as if her daughter didn’t realise,  how much her parents was capable of.  She insisted on LED tv set, and a second hand vehicle for her and her husband,  which was very apparently a huge burden for her parents.  When I spoke about the same thing to one of my neighbor and in the casual talk,  I mentioned why don’t people instead donate blood,  feed poor and needy,  or take care of sick and old to mark the beginning of  a new journey with divine tasks,  my neighbor replied the good things are done as show off,  I without being vocal about my thought further wondered,  isn’t spending  on marriages,  purchasing  a saree,  lehenga,  or expensive dresses and jewelry that are too heavy to be worn again,  show off too…??
Pompous marriages or for that reason celebration of any festival with too much of extravaganza is taking a toll on the savings of those parents who shall need it in their old age once their children leave,  similarly,  maintaining a  reputation by virtue of marriages that are expensive may not be a good idea. (recently read about the split of one of India’s top ten richest man’s daughter after having spent abundant money for the wedding).
The money,  time,  effort can rather be saved for a future that is progressive,  modern and contributing to the society.  Youngsters need to take efforts today in refusing to spend anything unwarranted on their wedding and utilise the resources in getting a good,  secured, life for their parents who are aging and the society that needs them and their continued contribution for better and rational reasons..  I have attached a simple example of a progressive contribution by a wedding group for your glance…
Please share the thoughts to friends and family for a better society.  Your comments, criticism and appreciation is essential.
Thanking you for reading  through..  Anubrata (Yugadhikari)